God's Away on Business
by AdderSpeak
Summary: A young woman encounters the infamous Joker while pursuing a career as a writer in Gotham... and discovers that she speaks his language. Please read and comment for me :
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: All characters, situations, and consequences belong to Chris Nolan, Bob Kane, Tim Burton, or whoever else claims to own BATMAN

Disclaimer: All characters, situations, and consequences belong to Chris Nolan, Bob Kane, Tim Burton, or whoever else claims to own BATMAN. Additionally, all Tom Waits music is property of the unstoppable Mr. Waits and are not fruits of my imagination. I just write the stuff for entertainment and nothing more.

WARNING: There are massive Dark Knight spoilers here. If you haven't watched it, don't read it. Well, okay, you can read it. Just don't say I didn't warn you.

**CHAPTER 1**

She sat alone at her computer desk, as usual, waiting for something inspiring to happen. It was torturous having a big brain that was used to being lazy after the haze of a chaotic stretch of years without the slightest idea of how to get things moving. She sighed and looked beside her. An English degree hung proudly on the wall where her mother had placed it just after her move to Gotham.

Her mother came to visit her in Gotham less than a year ago, her face beaming with absolute admiration. "I'm so happy you finished!" she said with a fierce hug around her tiny, frightened daughter. "We thought your graduation would never come! Now, I know that Gotham isn't one of the, well, most appealing cities to live in, but your dad and I just know that it is the perfect place to begin your writing career! There are a million publishers in the city who are just going to love to see your work!"

She wasn't so sure about that. Aside from the fact that she was completely against moving into a city that had been terrorized by a crazy doctor with a burlap sack over his head, she wasn't quite sure that there was any way to find inspiration in a glorified playground to a selfish billionaire who hadn't the faintest idea what to use his money for. It seemed like this Bruce Wayne liked to spend money throwing parties and galas for lawyers as opposed to spending it on actually helping the city. The lease he could do was hand some off to the Batman, or whatever they called him for doing everyone else's job for them.

Crime was the other big issue. After living in small town, how could she even think of picking up and moving into a city that rested its hopes on a faulty police squadron and an insane asylum? It was already common knowledge that corruption was deep in Gotham, but it was even worse when the inmates of a nut house escape with the help of their head physician. These were just the small time criminals too. There were murderers and rapists abound in Gotham with no one but a few good cops and a guy dressed as a bat to stop them. The whole place was a terminal of veritable insanity.

Then The Joker thing began. About a month before she had begun packing her life up, reports had come in that a new psychopath had claimed rule over Gotham who called himself the Joker. He had to be creepiest person she had seen in her life, like something out of a Lewis Carroll nightmare or a bad acid trip. He wore make-up that was poorly applied and parchment white with black over and below his eyes to give them a hollowed, devious look. His hair was probably blond, but was dyed a very cheap shade of green and matted about his head like a sickly looking mop. The most horrific thing, however, was his smile. Smeared with red lipstick, his lips were scarred into a disgustingly stitched grin and when he appeared on some of the media files, he barred the ugliest yellow teeth that she had ever seen. The moment she saw the broadcasts on TV, she stopped packing her things into boxes and called her mother to say that the move to pursue her parents' dreams was a no-go.

Yet it had appeared in that short span of time that The Joker was apprehended and safely in custody. Despite his previous escape, the death of a prominent lawyer, the mysterious disappearance of the DA, the death of a score of police officers and civilians and the sudden flight of the Batman himself, her mother felt that it was finally safe to make the move. "It's so important, Annie." Her mother said over the phone on the first night at her new apartment. "Your dad and I have been waiting for you to start writing forever. It's what you're good at, and this city will bring you right to the top. It's safe now. I can feel that good things are the way for you. I just know it."

As sweet and as encouraging as her mother's words had been, there was just nothing that could start her writing. The block itself was bad enough, but where could you ever find inspiration in a place that was breeding the scariest people humanly imaginable? She laughed to herself as she downed her third glass of evening vodka. "Here's to another day in the cemetery of freaks." She sighed, her voice hoarse against the liquid in her throat. "At least I came after the real crazies let up."

It was as if the world had fallen into place for her. In a moment of drunken disbelief, she turned her attention to the news broadcast that had been playing in the background for the past hour. On the TV was the same grin that had sent shivers down her spine, the same grin that had inspired an entire city to attempt evacuation and ultimately erupt in an inescapable panic. All of sudden, her writer's block was not her greatest concern. She stared with her mouth gaping open as the television announcement flashed across the screen:

"JOKER ESCAPED: SEVEN POLICE OFFICERS DEAD".


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Exactly the same as the last time

Disclaimer: Exactly the same as the last time. I don't own anything. Now I digress…

**Chapter 2**

All of sudden, she was tempted to down the entire bottle of vodka. This confirmed it- her mother had sent her off to pursue her dream in a city of madmen, mobsters, and psychopaths, with the worst of all three fresh out of police custody and onto the streets. She debated with packing up all of stuff and catching the next plane out of Gotham, but very quickly decided that she was too drunk for that. Instead, she grabbed her coat, jammed whatever bit of change she had left on the table, and headed out in the direction of the nearest liquor store.

The streets were as blaringly alive as usual, but there seemed to be an ugly tension in the air. On the sidewalk, a homeless man was shaking angrily with a sign in his hands that read: "I AM THE BATMAN" and several people darted around her without looking up as they rushed to their various directions. In a stereo store down the block, the television in the window was playing the news interview with Police Commissioner Gordon after the Joker's escape. She paused on her route for a moment to stare into the Commissioner's eyes, so calm but strangely alert at the situation that had occurred:

"_Obviously, we are very concerned about the Joker's recent escape from custody, but we are doing everything in our power to ensure that he is retrieved and I feel confident that we will have him back into custody and secure in Arkham Asylum as soon as possible."_

A dark haired reporter who was sitting in the front row raised her hand gracefully and brought her lips to the microphone:

"_Commissioner Gordon, has there been any word from The Batman?"_

There was a pause as Commissioner Gordon let out an almost imperceptible sigh:

"_We have not heard from The Batman, nor do we think that there will be any word from him in the near future. Thank you."_

It seemed like an eternity before she reached the liquor store. Her day had started out by dreading the process of finding something to write about, but now her dread had increased to the fear of living in the city alone. It would never be boring, that was for sure, but was it really worth it to live in fear of a man (though he really couldn't be called a man at all) who had corroded the city's sensibilities to the point that people no longer trusted in the powers they had elected to protect them? Every day, human goodness seemed to be more and more like unintelligible fiction.

Two bottles of wine later, she walked out of the liquor store without a penny left in change and started to walk home. The sun was just beginning to set and she knew that there would be no way that she would be able to leave her apartment until the sun was high in the sky and she felt slightly more safe by the light that would bathe the darkest city in the world. Maybe she could turn it into a productive night. Maybe a little chaos could get her out of her writer's block and inspire something new, beautiful, and vastly excited. She grinned to herself. It was worth a shot.

She was just outside of her apartment when she heard an explosion behind her. Her eyes blinked in disbelief as she witnessed a car fly from its parking spot into the oncoming traffic, leaving a pool of flame and black smoke in its path. People were screaming and running for cover and she had a terrible feeling in her gut at that moment that the explosion was not an accident. It was convenient and unbelievable, but there was no way that it was an accident. There was only one criminal in Gotham who loved fire that much.

In a moment of terror and suspicion, Annie ducked into the building and raced up the stairs towards her apartment door.


	3. Chapter 3

(Author's Note: Thanks all for staying tuned and please review

**(Author's Note: Thanks all for staying tuned and please review. I'm a big feedback whore and I love knowing what you guys think of it ********)**

**Chapter 3**

There were five men in the lobby of the building. The custodian and the security guard were both tied together, gags over their mouths that were smeared red by cheap lipstick while the five men appeared to be too busy fiddling with a few large duffle bags. There was no time to think. She dashed as quickly as she could into the emergency stairwell and up towards the fifth floor.

Part of her recognized that retreating into her apartment while a group of mobsters in The Joker's crew were nearby was a very bad idea, but what else was there to do? It was either stay in the streets and be burned alive by the explosions that were firing off every minute, or stay in the building, barricade the door and pray for some sort of salvation. She didn't have a lot of options. This seemed to be her only chance of saving herself.

When she had almost reached the fifth floor, she heard footsteps outside the door. There were more men on her floor and it sounded like they were about to come into the emergency stairwell. Her heart began to race in a terrible panic, and without a moment's hesitation, she bolted up towards the top floor as if everything in the world depended on it. She could hear her heart thumping in her ears, threatening at every beat to rip in two and kill her on the spot. It was welcome to. It would be a much more pleasant way to die than at the wrong side of a gun barrel.

The men came into the emergency stairwell to see her running for her life seven floors ahead of them. She heard them call out to her as they gave chase, weaving in and out of the twisting stairwell to catch her in her tracks. Although she had a good gain on them, she could tell that they were fast, determined, and much stronger than she was. Her legs were shaking, her heart was bursting, and in a sudden torrent of resolve, she pulled open the door to the fourteenth floor and fell through.

She landed on the floor of the hallway. There was an air of eerie silence cast in a phantom light that flickered from the emergency system. All the rooms were still and she figured quickly that either everyone had gotten the idea to evacuate or that they were already dead. She grimaced in pain as she pulled herself up and started to run again to the closest door. She pounded on the door before trying to pull it open, but there was no response and it was locked. Screaming out for help, she made her way to each door, knocking furiously and calling out for someone to let her in. Every door was a dead end, but as she reached the end of the hallway, she turned a corner towards another set of doors and successfully opened the first apartment door she saw, slamming it behind her and bolting it shut.

The room was in complete disarray. Furniture was overturned and papers were scattered in all directions. A few plants were overturned and smashed glass from a coffee table littered the hard wood floor of the living room. She checked vaguely for the people who lived there, but saw no sign that the inhabitants were still there. She shuddered at the idea of finding them in the kitchen or bathroom, tied together with the same gags and red lipstick as the hostages downstairs, their face smeared with blood from the savage cuts she had seen inflicted on many of The Joker's victims in the news reports. She was afraid to move through the apartment, but realized that it was necessary in order to find a phone. She had to call the police. With a newfound sense of urgency, she began to tear through the debris on the floor, desperate to find the one ticket that could get her out of this.

At the doorway to the kitchen, near the shattered mirror that hung above the shambles of what used to be a table, she found a phone charger. Thanking God for her luck, she grabbed for the charger and the contraption attached to it, only to have her hopes destroyed in a mess of terror and confusion. The phone was still attached to the charger, but it was slashed sideways so that only the receiver end remained, sounding out the familiar beeping of a dead phone line. The speaker and dial were nowhere to be found.

She looked around her puzzled as to where the rest of the phone was when she felt a strong arm grab her around the torso and wheel her around.

Her mouth gaped open in horror. In front of her was the very thing of nightmares, the man who had proclaimed himself Gotham's finest terrorist. His face was as horrible as they had shown it on the news, but up close you could see the vibrant scars with such clarity behind the lazy red lipstick that she could not help but shudder. He grinned slightly and cocked his head to the side, his arm keeping a firm grip around her torso. Slowly, he leaned into her and widened his grin.

"Well, hello there!" said The Joker in an almost friendly manner. "You must be my date for the evening. Care for a dance?"


	4. Chapter 4

(Author's Note: Thanks all for the feedback and the love

**(Author's Note: Thanks all for the feedback and the love. I am feeling that this is going in a good direction, so I hope you all enjoy this as much as I do).**

**Chapter 4**

Her instincts took over her instantly. She struggled with all of her strength, her tiny body toiling against The Joker's deceptively strong grasp. He wrapped both of his arms around her and made her already ridiculous attempt to break free look completely pathetic.

"Ah, sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh. There, there now." He cooed in a stern and falsely gentle manner. "It's always the pretty ones who try to…flutter away from you, isn't it? I mean I have no luck with women really, none at all. I think it's because of the scars. …It's because of the scars isn't?" He paused to allow her to take in the grisly designs carved across his face that had become so famous on the news. "You wanna know how I got em?"

"No!" she blurted out in desperation as she made another strong push against him to escape. This only seemed to amuse him further and she thought she heard him laugh a little when he pulled her back, her face coming dangerously close to his. In the corner of her eye, she spotted something that flashed in the dying evening light and realized with panic that it was a knife aimed squarely at her the corner of her lips. The Joker suddenly grew very serious, licked his lips in anticipation and forced her face even closer to his.

"My mother…got very sick one day. My brother and I put all our money into a savings jar at home so that we could keep her in the hospital. You see, our father left us with nothing and that put us in a very bad position when they couldn't find out what was wrong with her and she started getting worse. Mom said…that I was taking things way too seriously, that I had to keep my chin up, that I had to smile more. I didn't smile…got into drinking. Drank all the time, spent all the money I made on liquor at the end of the day so I didn't have to face the fact that my mother was going to die. I came home one day…and my brother was sitting at the kitchen table, an empty jar beside him, a knife in his hand. He said that the savings were all gone and that I took it to buy booze. I would never steal that money. He asked where it was, but I would never take it. She was my mommy, I loved her. I would never take the money from her. He said I stole it and that I was a liar and a thief, that I wanted to take mom away from him but I told him I would never so he took the knife and he held me down on the kitchen floor. I never stole that money. Turns out his girlfriend had used it to buy them a new car as a surprise for his birthday and now I SEE the irony. Now I can't stop smiling."

She could feel the knife pressing against her cheek and that it would be useless to try to move away from it. She closed her eyes and mumbled the word, "No."

The Joker laughed suddenly. "No…oh they always say no, but I am the one who always says yes. You should get into yes; it's a very liberating word."

She choked from the strength of his grip on her face. She could feel that he was about to kill her like he killed the others, that there was no way to turn, but a strength that she had never known began to rise from the pit of her stomach and up into her throat. "No, that...isn't…how…it…happened…"

The pressure on her face was suddenly released. She felt The Joker's grip relax and she opened her eyes very slightly to see the look of confusion and intrigue play upon his fearfully disfigured face. He leaned into her so that his eyes were bearing deeply into hers, prying out every fear and every anxiety that was feeding on her weakening resolve. He licked his lips tentatively and pulled the knife from her cheek.

"Now why do you say that?" he said with a touch of curiosity in his voice. "I certainly hope you're not calling me a liar here because I really HATE being called a liar…"

She tensed in his glare and returned his gaze steadily, but fearfully. "I think you did them yourself."

No sooner had she spoken the words than she heard the sirens that had been resounding in the distance move to encircle the building. She could not tell whether or not The Joker was laughing at her response or the approaching officers, but in his moment of distraction, Annie summoned all of her strength, pulled from his grip, and started to sprint to the door and out into the hallway. She could still hear The Joker laughing when she spotted a SWAT team burst through the doors that led from the stairwell. She gasped with relief and flung into the arms of one of the charging leaders, crying and shaking with absolute gratitude.

The laughing seemed to cease. They were taking her out of the building.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

The police station was bustling with what seemed like thousands of police officers and lawyers, each one of them running from place to place searching for anything and everything, praying for a way to reconcile with whatever thundered through the mind after a city boasts of seventeen fresh murders from the last Joker episode. She sat in the middle of it all, a blanket wrapped around her trembling frame and a hot coffee in her frozen hands.

The Police Commissioner himself was sitting across from her. In her hazy, sobered state, she remarked that this man seemed to be the only human one of them all. His demeanor was still and unobtrusive as if he was simply waiting for the world to become still and reveal to answers to everything he desired. Time itself was still for him, making her feel like she was in the presence of a kind old uncle who wanted nothing more than to hear her thoughts and spend a little time with her. She took a deep gulp of her shaking coffee and put it on the table in front of her. Commissioner Gordon smiled gently.

"More where that came from." He said almost jokingly. "I'm tempted to have another myself. It'll be my fifth today. Do you think I have a problem?"

She tried to smile, but found herself unable to muster anything more than a minor mouth twitch. "I don't think anyone has problems after what I saw tonight." She said. Gordon looked down as if in respect for her traumatic experience.

"I know how you feel. I've encountered The Joker a few times now and believe me, it's not something that I enjoy. He seems to have a bit of a knack for breaking out of prison, unfortunately. Go figure that Gotham's finest psychopath is also a David Copperfield in his spare time."

Annie looked out across the hall at the SWAT officers who were giving details to other police officers. One of the officers had an ugly slash across his face from one of The Joker's men and was nursing it gingerly with a heavy slice of gauze. The criminals who were being booked were even discussing the situation with some of the officers and demanding complete protection, should the need arise.

Gordon sighed. "I guess it's my duty to tell you that we did not catch The Joker this time." Her eyes immediately darted back to Gordon's face, the calm that she felt moments earlier fading instantly. He looked down in shame. "He was ahead of us this time. Knew we were coming, I guess. Anyways, it seems that out of all the people The Joker encountered this evening…" He paused. "You were the only one to come out unharmed. Now, we don't know exactly why it happened that way, but…"

"I know why." She said flatly. "I called his bluff."

Gordon fell silent and fixed his gaze squarely on hers. She sighed for a moment and reached for her coffee, only to discover that she had already drank it all. "It's…I don't know. He started telling me about how he got his scars, but I told his that he wasn't…I said that I thought that he did it."

Gordon leaned in closer. "How do you know that?"

"I don't really know." She said. "I mean, I took Psych when I was in school as my science and I sort of, like, had a knack for it. People like him lie, but they believe each lie as a sort of separate reality. Down is up, up is down, it's like they speak in codes. You guys know that already though, don't you?"

He didn't appear to be listening. He was motioning for one of the police sergeants to join him at the table. The Sergeant looked at Gordon and then at her, puzzling over what he had discovered from a girl who still reeked of alcohol from earlier that evening. She rolled her eyes and put her index finger at her temple, wishing all of a sudden that she could have another coffee with a lot of alcohol in it.

"We're going to place you into protective custody." Gordon said, pointing the Sergeant in the direction of two other officers. "I think it's best if you don't leave the station at all tonight. The Joker let you go, but chances are he's going to be looking for you again. I'm going to need two teams dispatched on West 89th street! He probably took off that way when he ran out of the building. Let's see if we can get to him before he gets to us!"

Annie sunk into a state of confusion. She wanted to ask Gordon why things had become so urgent, why her information was so pertinent to them and so like common sense to her. The police station was becoming frantic with people trying to run out to cars. Orders were being shouted from Gordon and the others, and everything was in a state of preemptive pandemonium.

From down the hallway, an officer came running towards Gordon, his gun displayed in clear view on his belt. Gordon turned towards him nervously while looking back at her as if to ensure that nothing had happened to her in the past twenty seconds.

"Sir, there's a problem." Said the officer as he caught his breath. "I think you need to come look at this."

**(Author's Note: More to come soon, guys! Let me know what you think!)**


	6. Chapter 6

(Author's Note: At this point in the story, if you have a way of downloading 'God's Away on Business' by Tom Waits, do it

**(Author's Note: At this point in the story, if you have a way of downloading 'God's Away on Business' by Tom Waits, do it. It will make a really good reference for the rest of the story).**

**Chapter 6**

For lack of direction and the ability to think, Annie followed Commissioner Gordon and the other officer down the hallway and across the station to the very front of Police Headquarters. She saw Gordon charge ahead of her, pause for a split second, and then turn back, his hand covering his mouth in shock. She did not stop where the other officers were gathering, but moved a little ahead of them to see the most gruesome sight she had ever witnessed.

Although it seemed at first to be a man sitting on the steps and waiting for someone to allow him entry to the station, a closet look determined that the man was dead. The police were already beginning to close off the perimeters from the outside and inside of the building, but she was around long enough to get a good look at his face. The victim was a Gotham lawyer, one that she had seen work closely with the District Attorney before the DA was pronounced dead a few short months ago. His face was scarred in the familiar Joker style with the long slits across the mouth gaping open and seeping torrents of bright red blood. His head was bowed down towards the steps and black paint circled both of his eyes, casting a deeply disturbing shadow over his mutilated face and around his neck was a small device that looked like a tape recorder with a sign that had the familiar, "I BELIEVE IN HARVEY DENT" campaign poster. The poster itself was the same that the DA used repeatedly in his campaign, but someone had scribbled out the left side of his face with a red marker. Beneath the vandalized photo, a message was written in blood that read, "_Who are the ones that we kept in charge: Killers, Thieves, and LAWYERS?"_

She could feel a few officers start to push her away from the crime scene as Gordon shouted orders to the men that hurried around with yellow caution tape. "Things are getting bad again." She heard one of the officers say as they moved back towards Gordon's office. It took almost no time at all for The Joker to strike again and she could feel that this time it was going to be really scary. All she wanted was to call her mom to pick her up and take her back home. After meeting The Joker and the subsequent events of the night, Annie felt like she had all she could take.

In about half an hour, Gordon returned to meet her in his office. He took something from an officer, nodded gravely, and closed the door behind him to ensure that they would not be disturbed. He sat across from Annie and smiled in the half apologetic, half gentle way that was his signature in the face of danger.

"I think...that we need to talk a bit about The Joker tonight, Annie." Gordon said. "There's a chance that something big is coming, and the more we know about what we're dealing with, the better."

Hey eyes were wide. There was only one remaining response she knew for these situations in Gotham. "Where's The Batman? Why isn't he here yet?"

It was as if she had dealt a deep emotional blow to Gordon. His eyes searched her face for a moment before he let out a heavy sigh and looked back at the table in an almost shameful manner as if they were about to speak of a long dead relative of his who he had felt responsible for. "The Batman isn't coming back, at least not now. I don't know where he is."

Annie narrowed her eyes and leaned in closer to Gordon. "What do you mean you don't know where he is? He's The Batman, isn't he? He knows where to find us, he knows we need him. Why isn't he coming?"

"Because we drove him out." Gordon replied soberly. "For what happened before. He felt responsible for the deaths of the innocent people of Gotham and left. We felt as though it was for the good of the city."

"WHAT?" shouted Annie, her tone becoming desperate and angry. "You drove him away just because people got scarred? He was the only one who could stop The Joker! I mean, he caught him for you, didn't he? And this is the way you people THANK the only person who could really help us now? Jesus, what a fucking city this is…"

Gordon was not put off by her reaction, but listened quietly in a way that let her know that he agreed with her. He sighed again. "I know exactly how you feel. It was actually his idea, but nevertheless, I let him do it and sent my officers after him. And yes, we could really use his help around here now but we have to make do with what we've got. And I need to speak to you about The Joker."

"Fuck, what makes you think I know anything about The Joker?" she said. "Just because I call him on something doesn't mean I know anything about him."

Gordon hesitated for a moment as if he were debating the action he was about to take. He shook his head faintly, then pulled out the thing the officer had given to him and placed it on the table. It was the tape recorder she had seen hanging around the lawyer's neck and as Gordon turned it over, she saw a glossy Joker playing card taped to it with a message typed out in perfect bold font.

The message read: "**FOR ANNIE**".


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

The first question she had was a very obvious one- how did The Joker know her name? She stared numbly at the tape recorder Gordon had put in front of her, everything that she had been through in the past few hours flashing through her head as if these were her final moments. She reached for the tape recorder then stopped, looking up at Gordon with a sudden pang of panic.

"This…isn't going to explode or something is it?" Annie asked nervously. "Because if it is, I'm telling you right now, I'm not going to help you if it means blowing up here."

Gordon seemed to consider this for a minute as he examined the tape recorder. He cautiously turned it over in his hands, searching it for any sign of real danger. At length, he raised his eyebrows in a sign of hopeful determination and placed it back on the table.

"Well, there's no apparent device attached to it. Usually, when The Joker's going to cause an explosion, he wants us to know about it. I think it's just a tape recorder."

He stared at her expectantly, not wanting to urge her on in case of bad judgment, but letting her know that he was irrevocably curious. She sighed and took the tape recorder in her hand, flinching with the expectation that there was still something else yet to be discovered. She closed her eyes warily and pressed 'play'.

There was a pile of static at first, insinuating that something horrible was going to happen, but all of a sudden, music began to play. It was a familiar song- low brass squawking out a limited sequence of notes with a percussion beneath it that sounded like bones rattling against a rusted fence. A voice emerged from the persistent, musical commotion in a dry, rasping hiss that calmed her momentarily with a spurt of personal remembrance:

"_I'd sell your heart to the junkman baby for a buck, for a buck,_

_If you're lookin for someone to pull you outta that ditch you're outta luck, you're outta luck."_

Gordon grimaced in confusion and looked up to Annie. He saw the familiarity in her face and paused in a state of even greater confusion. "What…is this?" he asked.

She smiled ironically, keeping her eyes on the tape recorder. "It's a Tom Waits song, _God's Away On Business._ Figures The Joker's a fan of Tom Waits. I should have guessed when I saw that sign around the guy's neck." Gordon continued his blank stare at her. She looked up at him as if it were all so obvious. "I listen to this stuff, okay? I think it's awesome. The thing, the sign on the lawyer's neck was a line from the song. I know Tom Waits forwards and backwards…"

Her moment of clarity was quickly interrupted by horror. She kept her eyes on Gordon and allowed for her gaze to fade before his eyes into recognizable terror. "How does he know that? How the hell does he know that I listen to Tom Waits?"

Gordon appeared more nervous at this conclusion and got up to look at the door to his office, ensuring that they were truly alone. "Well, we're not letting you go anywhere without close surveillance, that's for sure. The Joker is clearly trying to communicate with you. I'm not really sure why, but in any event it can't be good for you. Looks like he's sending a message, and for some reason, this message is for you. Maybe…" he paused. "Maybe you actually…know what this is…"

He pulled from his pocket a small Polaroid photograph that he had been keeping. "This is a photo that was taken of the victim before we released him to the morgue. One of the officers noticed that some blood was seeping through his suit, so we loosened it a bit and we found this…carved into his chest…"

Annie took the photograph and nearly gagged from the image she saw. Gordon looked apologetic that he showed it to her, but she knew as well as he did that it was necessary.

In the flesh of the lawyer's chest were the words: "_God's away, God's away, God's away on_ _Business, Business. HA_!"

She pressed her hand to her forehead. The headache was coming back in a big way. Gordon took the photograph back from her and clasped her hand encouragingly. "I know that this is unethical and that it must be very hard for you, but we're out on a limb here and we'll do almost anything now to stop The Joker from doing this again. So I have to ask you, do you have any idea why he wrote that? Any idea at all?"

Annie shook her head for a moment, but then something switched on inside of her. It was the same panic button that had been pushed when The Joker had the knife to her cheek, the one that made her go out on a limb to reach beyond all that she could possibly know and find something deeper and truer than before. She stared hard into Gordon's eyes as the darkest realization she could possibly entertain reared up inside her mind and barred its fangs in her frightened little throat.

"He knows The Batman is gone." She whispered. "_God's away on Business._ He knows we're defenseless."

**(Author's Note: Okay guys, I am desperately sorry, but I have to leave you there. I am going away for a week and I won't have computer access. SO…do review and stay tuned. I'm excited for what this is going to become ********)**


	8. Chapter 8

I'm baaaaaack……

_I'm baaaaaack……_

**Chapter 8**

Annie sprinted up from her chair and began to pace across the room back and forth in terror. "He knows! Jesus, what the fuck are we supposed to do now? I've got a fucking lunatic creeping through my building finding out secrets about me and there's nothing you can do about it, is there? WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING TO DO, COMMISIONNER? He's going to keep coming and I don't know how he found out about me and my interests, but for some reason I don't think it's a good thing, do you?"

Gordon sighed heavily and shook his head. "I'm so sorry, Annie." He whispered. "I just…I don't know. I wish that things had happened differently, I really do. I wish I could contact the Batman but I know that he won't answer. We've had…an understanding."

"There's nothing you're going to do then?" Annie demanded. "I mean, you're not even going to try to contact him?"

There was no was no response at first. Gordon fidgeted in his chair with discomfort and averted his eyes from hers. "There's no way Annie. If there's one thing in this I know for sure, it's that we've lost the Batman."

She laughed mirthlessly, her hands knotting deeply into her hair as she walked over towards the door. From all the reports she had seen, she knew for a fact that there was nothing that the police could do to save her from the Joker and whatever he had planned for her. Protective custody could only do so much. She was just as safe out on the streets of Gotham as she was in the police station, only she might be at a greater advantage if The Joker didn't know where she was. "This is crazy." She hissed under her breath. She could barely believe her own thought process, but she could tell that there was nothing left for her to do. It was her only option. She paused at the door for a split second before unlocking it and storming out into the hallway.

Everything was blocked out to her. It appeared as though the bustling police officers had too much to do to even notice her retreating farther and farther from them, so she quickened her pace and moved towards the exit. In the background, Gordon was calling out for her but she chose to ignore him until he caught up to her and grabbed her arm.

"Annie, what do you think you're doing?" he said in a panic as if she were his own child. He tried to turn her to face him, but she pulled away and continued her quest.

"I'm getting the fuck out of here." She hissed. "Away from this station, away from this city, away from this whole fucking mess. You think The Joker wants something from me? Well, there's nothing he can do if I'm not around to participate. I'm not sticking around to watch you guys fuck up again with no Batman to clean up after you. NOT me."

She could hear Gordon running to catch her again, so she sped up until she was running for the exit. Some of the other police officers started to take notice, but no one was bold enough to take the chase without Gordon's orders.

"You're in danger, Annie!" she heard Gordon call out as she pulled the door open. "You're not going to get out of Gotham! He won't let…"

She was already outside. Without knowing why she was still running, she sprinted away from the station towards her apartment building. All she needed was a little bit of money; just a credit card or two and then she could get a cab out to the airport. He mother would probably be disappointed to see her come home, but it was really none of her business why she had left. All she would have to do is turn on the TV and the answer to her daughter's desperation to get out of Gotham would be flashing across the news reports. She didn't care about the rest of the city. There was no time to worry about what her mother would think. All that mattered was that she was going back home.

Police sirens were blaring in the distance signifying that Gordon has dispatched a squad to retrieve her and take her back to 'safety'. She could feel that she was getting close to the apartment building even though she was far from the main roads and the familiar street signs that had always led her home. She knew that the faster she got there the faster she could get on that plane, get on that plane, and…

There was a shadow in the distance. At first, her heart leapt in her chest. The news reports always said that the Batman appeared at first as a shadow, but then as she got closer, she saw that there was something more human about the shadow and far more menacing. As if it were against her will, she slowed her pace and stared ahead at the shadow that was merging with the light. It was a tall man, his head cocked slightly to the side as if his whole body was jagged. As he emerged from the darkness she saw that he wore a long purple coat and leather gloves that were concealing a small kitchen knife…

She stopped. The Joker was standing across from her, grinning profusely, a low, growling laugh rolling in his throat. Her feet felt like lead as she began to turn around to see a group of The Joker's thugs gathering around and blocking her escape path. She turned back and The Joker was right in front of her, inching closer to her while he smoothed his hair back in false pride and licked at his scarred lips.

"Hi there. Annie is it?" he said with an almost suave edge. "I'm guessing you got my message. You don't look happy about it did I come on a little too strongly?"

A few of the men crowded behind her to block her path, pushing her even closer to the leering Joker and his watchful glare. She flinched, expecting the knife to be pointed again at her cheek but noticed quickly that it was still at his side. Confused in her horror, Annie looked squarely into The Joker's hellish black eyes.

"Why me?" she whispered fearfully. "What do you want from me?"

The Joker shrugged nonchalantly and licked his lips again. "To talk." He said. "Only talk. I have…an idea you should hear."


	9. Chapter 9

(Sorry for my tardiness, guys

_(Sorry for my tardiness, guys. I hope that this makes it up to you!)_

**Chapter 9**

Annie could feel her clever mind freeze. There was nothing that she could do to get out of this situation. Even as she stared into The Joker's leering face she could feel his men closing in behind her, blocking her path and crushing any hope she would have to escape. The fury at her predicament began frothing through her pounding heart, unwisely advising her to ask The Joker if he had anything better to do than stock a young, unsuccessful writer. Fortunately, the intelligent side of her won out and she remained still, terrified, her lips barely mouthing the word 'why'. The Joker must have been intensely focused on her lips because his grin faded slightly as he reached out to take her arm roughly.

"Funny that you should ask that." He said licking his lips again. "How about we go on a walk?"

Waiting only long enough to catch her panicked expression, he began leading her down the alleyway towards a door that was hidden in grime and shadow. It looked as though it had never been used (or that no one dare ever use it), but The Joker seemed not to care and kicked it open, his hand still steady in its grip on her. The men behind her blocked off the exit while they descended into the cavern below. A sparse room that was furnished with nothing but a rusted chair and a table lamp stared eerily at the floor and was plugged in to cast a harsh, glaring light.

It was only at the moment that she stepped into the room and the door was closed behind her that she found herself alone with The Joker. The men had left them moments ago, and she was now staring at the heavy metal door that enclosed her in a room with the most disgustingly horrific man she had ever seen. As if out of unconscious desperation, she reached out with her other hand and tried to turn the knob, but remained unsurprised when she discovered that she was locked in. The Joker seemed pleased by this. He laughed in his dry, rasping throat and pulled her down to sit in the uncomfortably rusted chair.

Something about the situation was oddly intimate and seemed completely unlike The Joker that she had seen on TV. She looked around her for some indication as to the reason why she was there, but nothing was predictable with this psychopath. The Joker was circling around her as if he were plotting the right words to say to a new lover. Annie tried to make herself look less visible.

"You're probably wondering…what's with the THEATRICS." He said as he circled, his eyes fixed on her cowering form. "Now what you need to know about a guy like me is I don't just beat around the bush. I'm a man of action I get things done, I TELL people what's on my mind and then I just go…I improvise. I like to do things in style so that I can get my message out. That's why I made a very…conscious decision to do things in a shiny new way…with a little help from you."

He stopped his circling and leaned into her so that she could very clearly see the scars on his face in the shadows of the blaring light. "People…expect things from their criminals. They want action EXCITEMENT, something to tell their family out in hicktown after they survive the whole ordeal but the problem is…they all FOLD. They get good and scared, which is good most of the time but after a while they just don't give enough and then there's nothing to give back and that just leaves no room for _expansion._ They just get really screechy, you know? 'HELP HELP! THE JOKER OH GOD!' Nothing new in that. It just becomes so boring getting the exact same response over and over and over and over and over. There's nothing interesting nothing to sick your TEETH into."

He paused. "And then…just as things get really pathetic you get one person, be it bat or be it girl who stares you right in the eyeball and starts thinking. Now that…that's interesting to me. No defiance, you know, no uncomfortable silence, just pure IDEAS. I can really respect and idea man…or woman do you see what I mean?"

Annie remained frozen. The Joker was working her up to something, she knew it but she could not figure out what it was. She thought back on what he just said for a semblance of sanity, but in her terrified state she could not make any sense of it. The Joker seemed to notice this and waited patiently for the wheels in her head to turn far enough. She shook her head fearfully. "I…no, I don't get it."

The Joker remained in the same position and stared into her eyes. He sighed after a moment and dramatically heaved himself into the air again. "Everything is just very very very very simple here Annie. You are cut from a different cloth… YOU are not LIKE the rest of them. Haaaaaaa… if I ever entertained the thought of the Batman being a woman you…you would be my first guess. And like the Batman you seem to have this uncanny knack for scraping below the surface where no one else wants to go and finding something interesting. You. Fought. Back. And I liked that. I think that the mind is a terrible thing to waste so I want to make you a deal. If you take it then I'll be having some fun and if you don't…well…" he stopped to grin at her. "I'm still having fun. So you want the deal or not batgirl?"

She stared at him, her eyes frozen over his gleeful malice. "I still don't know what you want." She whispered. "You say you like the way I think. Does that…" The thought swelled inside of her as she was stolen in a moment of extreme clarity. "That means…you need me for something?"

The Joker suddenly burst into laughter, his body shaking generously with its force. "Oh something, everything…what does that really matter? It's just a little position on our team that you could fill very nicely. I mean it's different from the other positions that my boys like to gear up for. No no no no no no YOUR position would GUARANTEE job security. Call you…" he leveled to her face again, ensuring that she could see each inch of his tongue as he slowly licked at his scar. "My…number one….ah gal…"

Annie's heart seemed to stop beating for a moment. She tried to freeze her mind from thinking about what The Joker's proposed position would involve, but it was racing too wildly to stop imagining. Looking into his face at this moment was like staring at a train wreck and there was nothing she could do to pull away. She swallowed hard. If she said yes then there was no telling what would be The Joker's next step for her. She would be completely at his mercy. If she said no, it was probably just as bad. She could be dead for sure or at least horribly mutilated with no one to save her or even hear her scream. But she could not allow herself to be taken by The Joker and whatever he had planned for her. Death would almost be better.

"No." she said clearly, surprised by her own strength. "I won't. I'm not going to be like you."

The Joker seemed to almost have expected her defiance. He shrugged nonchalantly and pushed a button hidden on the side of the wall. The metal door that had kept her enclosed in the room with him swung open, ensuring a clear path towards the street above and a way of escape. She felt relieved for no more than a second before The Joker jumped at her and pinned her angrily against the chair. A trace of a smile still played on his lips as her lowered his head menacingly so that she could see the whites of his eyes.

"Not eager to disappoint are you? Well then, let me tell you something that won't disappoint YOU, beautiful. You can tell your Commissioner that I am back and that I am getting a little uglier. People are going to be dropping in this city like flies and only you can stop me. It's very very simple, Annie. Just think. That's all you need to do and then you tell me when you've had enough and it's time for you to stop being the hero that you think you aren't. But I'd really hurry if I were you. God's away on business."

She couldn't tell whether he had let her up or if she had pushed at him hard as she thrust him out of her way and began charging up the stairs. All of The Joker's thugs moved to the side to let her out into the alleyway, out on the run, out on the streets. The tears were rolling down her face and she began running as fast as she could towards the blaring police sirens and away from the nightmare she had just faced.

She swore that she could hear The Joker still laughing in the distance.


End file.
